We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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