Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
