what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
