Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
whose parrot is this?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
