We won't sleep together?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
A bitchslap is in order.
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