things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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