Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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