What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
