Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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