she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
