OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
