i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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