Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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