I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize