Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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