so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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