I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have feelings that need drinking.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
