it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
