i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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