I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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