Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
