My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
