Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
