I'll bet she douches with gravy.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You've changed since you got that strap on
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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