Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
