Its about making memories worth repressing
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize