What did we do last night that was yellow?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize