Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
