the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
