I wanna bring you to show and tell
thus making me awesome and them whores
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
