Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize