i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
