I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
