the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
