yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
this just has baby written all over it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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