Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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