Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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