if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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