what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
