Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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