Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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