I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
