dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
