talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
