ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
