It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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