mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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