I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize