yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
