I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
