No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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