Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
