So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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