At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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