Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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