Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
