Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
