Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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