just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
