$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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